Dolphin and Octopus: Exotic Weapon Proficiency

#1
Back in the days of Google+ I used to write up news stories involving certain sea creatures as if they were playing an RPG. Since its demise I've written one more of these...

GM: So your new level gets you an exotic weapon proficiency. What are you going to take?
Octopus: Jellyfish.
GM: ...
Octopus: The damage isn't very good but the poison save is horrific.
The first account of a scientist getting slapped by a jellyfish-wielding octopus occurred in the prestigious journal Science in 1963 when a young blanket octopus used a man-o-war to sting the author, resulting in the paper below. https://t.co/HqTnI9hfwa pic.twitter.com/oh2aaLjvtJ
ā€” Open Ocean Exploration (@RebeccaRHelm) June 18, 2020


GM: I could argue that that's a siphonophore, not a jelly, but fine. Dolphin, have you picked your new perform skill yet? Dolphin? Dolphin!
Dolphin: Oh, uh, yeah, uh, I pick jellyfish.
GM: You weren't paying attention, were you?
Dolphin: I was!
GM: So you really want a perfom skill of jellyfish?
Dolphin: Yes! Yes...I'm...I'm going to juggle them.

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